Judge: Why are you arrested ?
Derp: For shopping early.
Judge: Well, that's not a crime, anyways how early was it ?
Derp: Before the shop opened. Lol!!!

Teacher: Tell me derp if i asked you to choose between money and brain what will you choose ?
Derp: I would choose money.
Teacher: I would prefer brain.
Derp: Well, everybody chooses what they don't have ... :D

Mr Bean: (Crying) The doctor just called up, my mom's dead.

Friend: Condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)

Friend: What now, Mr. Bean?